New Day

So recently I've been pretty down. I mean it happens to everyone from time to time.

I've spent the last few days moping about feeling sorry for myself, crying, I've not been able to eat, to the point that some serious depression kicked in and some bad thoughts started dancing about my mind. Luckily I reached out to someone through Blah Therapy, and this anonymous Angel saved my life. Now apart from myself being a serious mess, I actually now log onto this site as an listener and provide help and advice to those who are in the darkest of places, and trust me when i say this things could have been worse for me. I can only hope that I am giving the help back to people that that Angel gave to me. By doing this I actually feel like I am helping myself as well by helping others with their situation. I love the irony as well..... You know one mess of a person actually giving advice to others. But in most cases we end up helping each other out.

Last night i decided that I can't go on like this, I mean fade away into nothingness. So I stomached my first meal in days and decided a few things.

1. I need to make a few real improvements in myself as I dropped the ball big time.

2. I am going to write this blog and share my life with the world, the good and bad.

3. No more feeling sorry for myself

4. I deserve to be happy and will be

So here's what I am going to do.

1. Quit feeling sorry for myself, I am only a victim of my own actions.
2. Time to stop worrying about what I can't change and focus on what I can.
3. Focus on other aspects in my life
- Getting fit and healthy and looking good again
- Focus on my career and get that ball rolling again
- Work on myself, my insecurities and poor behavior.
4. Find some productive ways to vent my frustrations and anger.
5. Take control of my emotions.

It's not going to be easy and I may not be successful, but I have to try,  I am not going to live my life wondering "what if". It's going to be a day by day process sometimes I'll be up other times I'll be down. I just hope that those who read this will comment provide advice and hopefully learn a few things to help themselves as well.