Did I Make You Fucking Dance?

After I die, I’ll reawake

Redefine what was at stake

From the hindsight of a god

I’ll see the people that I used

See the substance I abused

The ugly places that I lived

Did I make money, was I proud?

Did I play my songs too loud?

Did I leave my life to chance

Or did I make you fucking dance?

Chances are I made you dance at least once, you've seen the substances that I've abused, I've made money and I've been proud and yes I played my songs too loud. Still working out what I want every day, and working it out step by step.

For the last Two nights I've had the same visitor in my dreams, an African Shaman that I met many years ago. I must admit that I spent Two months hanging out with him in a remote village eating and smoking natural entheogens, after an experience like that a close bond was formed. Anyway in my dream last night he was tapping my shoulder with a big stick which was dislocated at the time when I met him and asking me the question "What are you?" and "What do you want?" each time I answered with "I do not know" and he replied by hitting my shoulder harder with the stick and asking the questions again. This process repeated until the pain was to much to bare and I awoke frustrated with these questions firm in my mind.

What do I want?

I've asked this question over and over and I have came to the conclusion of what I truly want, now It's just a case of working out if the other party involved wants the same things as I do.

"What do you want
What do you want that you cannot say
Show us the faith we're supposed to display"

As for what I am

I am still working on that, for now I guess "I am what I am"

"Stop trying to change me
I am what I am
No I don’t need you to save me
I am what I am
I don’t want you to show me
Because I stand where I stand
I just need you to know me
Just know who I am"